Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Leaving the Conversation

For five years, I was publically engaged in conversation about my diet.

This past fall, I left the conversation. Let me explain why.

"You are not more or less of a person based on the foods you choose to eat. (No correlation between what you eat and your self worth or morality!)" 

I am on this crazy self love journey right now. There is no other way to describe what is happening to me but that God is breaking. me. down. My very roots are being torn from dry and crusty soil and are on their way to fertile ground.

While tears may be shed as HE brings me to my knees, this is honestly the easiest thing I have ever done....because for the first time, I can feel myself letting go and truly trusting HIM.

I started gaining interest in health as it relates to nutrition when my energy levels tanked and my skin started doing crazy things back in 2009. I was pregnant with my second son and doing the whole mommy guilt 'I just want to do everything right for my family' thing.

I soaked up every word from every book on nutrition I could get my hands on, and usually cherry picked the things that lined up with what seemed logical to me at the time. Long story short, this path resulted in a lot of dietary restrictions, and eventually full on veganism.

I am not in any way interested in hating on vegetarians or vegans. Living out our conviction for several years was not easy, and I empathize with anyone making a difficult lifestyle choice based on personal conviction. The one mistake I believe we made during that time was never questioning our choice. We were vegans, that was our life, and that was that.

Until it didn't work for me anymore. You can read more about that here.

My point today is that food is just food.

My husband likes to point out that I tend to have an obsessive personality. While I prefer the term "passionate", he's right. I hear a concept I like, I become a complete sponge and absorb everything I can about it, and then live it out as firmly and robustly as possible.

With the limitations of an autoimmune disease, and the desire to truly love myself, and my body, I'm trying to ease up a bit.

Leaving the conversation about food has been a requirement for this. I love food. Cooking is therapeutic for me, and I see good, nourishing foods as one of the greatest blessings God gave us on this earth to enjoy. 
However, attaching morality, self worth, guilt, shame or too much pleasure to food is unhealthy for the body, and dangerous for the heart.

I stopped posting my kids' lunches on Instagram daily. I very rarely post food on my own Instagram account. I want my conversation to be about love, service, joy found outside the kitchen, and my relationship with others and Jesus.

I did happen to post this awesome breakfast just today on my Instagram, and the rarity of this type of post sparked the fire to finally write this blog post; which had been swimming in my head for weeks.

If there is anything in your life that is causing you to feel less than awesome about yourself, or is impeding your self love or your relationship with Jesus, I can tell you that for me, the only thing that helps is to leave the conversation. Remove it from your life, and replace it with something uplifting.

Give yourself grace and remember, food is just food.

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